Social Connections and Burnout Recovery: Why Staying Connected Helps

Last Updated Jan 2026

Recovering from burnout often means more than managing stress and workload, it also means reconnecting with others. While social withdrawal (like cancelling plans) can be a symptom of burnout, intentionally strengthening supportive social connections can help reduce stress, boost emotional resilience, and make recovery easier.

This page explores how connecting with others supports practical burnout recovery and complements the strategies in my main Burnout Recovery Guide.

Woman sitting home alone

Social Withdrawal: A Common Symptom of Burnout

We all have our own level of socialising that works for us. I know myself, I am a bit of an introvert so although I love connecting with others, I need time alone to recover before I am ready to go again. Putting boundaries in place to ensure you give yourself that time is not the same as social withdrawal. However, if you are on the path to burnout, you may find yourself always wanting to cancel plans at the last minute or "flaking" on your friends.

You know that feeling when its 5 pm and you decide its a better idea to finish something at work than meet your friends for a drink? or maybe you decide to spend a day watching Netflix rather than turning up to your regular running group? This is all fine once in a while, but the pattern can build until you can’t remember the last time you actually turned up and had a good time.

This can be especially easy to miss with high-functioning burnout because it can feel like you are just "resting in preparation for work", when actually you are just pushing yourself further towards burnout.

The Downside of Cancelling Plans at the Last Minute

It might feel easier to cancel plans at the last minute or maybe you're worried you'll just bring down the mood, but research shows that maintaining social connections is an important part of burnout prevention and recovery.

We don’t even need to talk about our concerns, just the act of connecting with others can impact our hormones and make us feel better. I have written before about how burnout results in our cortisol production being stuck on max flow, resulting in a whole series of negative side effects. Well, studies show that connecting with others can reduce cortisol and increase the production of "happy hormones".

How Social Connections Help Burnout Recovery

One of these hormones, oxytocin, is actually known as the "love" or "cuddle" hormone. It is most well known for supporting childbirth and the mother/baby connection, as well as stimulating the production of breastmilk after birth. However, oxytocin has now been shown to play an important role in helping to manage stress.

The Science: Cortisol, Oxytocin and Stress Relief

Oxytocin is a hormone produced (mainly) in the brain and released by the posterior pituitary gland. It promotes trust and empathy, social bonding, attachment and emotional stability. Some oxytocin is naturally released when we are stressed, alongside stress hormones, to improve our resilience, making us feel connected and safe.

If we then follow this up with connecting with others, we can increase our oxytocin and recover faster. However, overexposure to cortisol can result in a significant reduction in oxytocin production and this, combined with social withdrawal, can put things out of balance.

So, every time we choose to say no to seeing a friend because we feel overwhelmed, we are missing an opportunity to reduce our stress hormones and get access to the good stuff!

Relationship between Cortisol and Oxytocin

Talking with others also allows us to put our own feelings into perspective. I know from my own experience that I convinced myself that I was the only one finding things difficult and that everyone else was thriving at work and at home.

It got to the point where I felt like if I turned up, I would ruin the evening for everyone. In reality, everyone has their own challenges and no one has a perfect life, but without the safety valve of connecting with others, it's easy to forget this.

If it feels too much to catch up with friends, as a first step try connecting with people as part of a shared activity. This can feel less pressured and has the added benefit of enabling you to do something you enjoy. I did this through cold water swimming and sauna, but any activity will work, as long as its something you enjoy and involves connection with others.

Quality vs Quantity: Building the Right Social Connections

Remember not all social connections are equal. Technology has increased our ability to connect but we can fool ourselves into thinking we are maintaining our friendships by frequent texts or messaging on social media. Research demonstrates this kind of communication is less effective at generating oxytocin than speaking to someone in person, or even a voice call. So next time you feel the urge to message someone give them a ring instead, or better still arrange to meet them for a coffee.

In addition, many of us have people in our lives who zap our energy and add to our microstress load, increasing our burnout risk rather than reducing it. Whilst it may not be possible, or desirable, to stop these interactions, its useful to at least inform ourselves and ensure we have sufficient oxytocin generating connections to balance them out.

If you are unsure about which of your connections are doing what, it may be useful to try this simple exercise. Imagine four quadrants where the X axis represents "feel good" energy and the Y axis represents "frequency". Does that weekly coffee with your sister make you feel good? put it in the "feel good : high frequency" quadrant. Does the daily call with your friend from school drain your energy? put that in the "low feel good: high frequency" category.

Maybe you stretch that call with your friend out to monthly and use that time to connect with someone who makes you feel good? As a minimum at least you can use this exercise to increase your awareness of the impact of your different connections.

Choosing Balance Over Isolation

Ensuring we make time for social connections is part of the balance arm of the Anti-burnout Mindset.

I have always enjoyed catching up with friends and family but I have a tendency to hide away when I am feeling low. However, quality social connections, with people you enjoy, is scientifically proven to be good for you, reduce stress and actually protect us from burnout.

Now, when I notice myself wanting to cancel plans at the last minute, I remind myself that catching up with friends and family is a lever I can pull on to help increase my oxytocin and my resilience to stress.

Summary: From Social Withdrawal to Burnout Recovery

• Burnout can make us feel like we want to hide away

• However, when we are feeling overwhelmed connecting with others helps reduce cortisol and supports the production of "happy hormones" such as oxytocin

• Oxytocin has been shown to support the management of stress

• Quality not quantity is important when it comes to social connections

• Next time you feel like you want to cancel plans at the last minute, don't do it! It could help save you from burnout.

If you find yourself wanting to cancel plans at the last minute, it could be a sign of burnout rather than just needing downtime.

Social withdrawal may feel easier in the moment, but connection is one of the most powerful tools we have to reduce stress, boost oxytocin, and prevent burnout. Next time you feel tempted to flake, remember: saying yes to the right people can protect your wellbeing.

Sign up to my newsletter today for monthly burnout busting tips. Ready for a bigger reset? Explore my Ultimate Anti-Burnout Plan for Working Women.

Mairi Joyce x