The 12 Stages of Burnout in Working Women (with recovery tips and how to prevent them)

Burnout isn’t something that happens overnight — it creeps in slowly, stage by stage. Psychologists Herbert Freudenberger and Gail North created a framework known as the 12 stages of burnout, which maps out this gradual progression.

This is a longer post, but I truly believe understanding these stages is the key to stopping burnout in its tracks — which is why I wanted to share all the details with you. If you’re short on time, don’t worry — I’ve created a handy Quick Guide to Burnout Stages & Recovery Tips you can download here.

When I first came across these 12 stages, I found them incredibly helpful in making sense of my own experience. Suddenly, all the exhaustion, overwork, and emotional detachment had a name and a pattern. But here’s the thing: what’s even better than understanding burnout in hindsight? Spotting the warning signs early and doing something about them.

As a working woman, I found myself slipping through these stages without even realising it. Looking back, I can see where I could have stepped in earlier. That’s why I want to share this with you — so you can spot the signs sooner and protect your wellbeing before it reaches crisis point. Each stage represents a chance to pause, reflect, and make a change. Twelve stags means 12 opportunities to protect your wellbeing and stop burnout in its tracks.

The 12 Stages of Burnout Explained (with Recovery Tips)

Stage 1: The need to prove yourself - Early signs of burnout in women

Stage 1 begins with a strong desire to achieve. You overflow with ambition and seemingly endless energy. You love what you do and want to show the world you can accomplish anything.

For me, this stage began when I moved back to Scotland after 12 years in New Zealand. I wanted to prove I was good at my job, that I was just as valuable as my male colleagues — and that being a mum didn’t make me any less capable. At the same time, I wanted to prove to myself (and everyone else) that I was a good parent, despite my career ambitions.

But over time, this need to prove ourselves can start to turn into over commitment. For many working women, this might look like staying late at the office while still being the first to volunteer for the sports club liftshare, or agreeing to an unrealistic deadline right before your child’s birthday party — after promising to make all the food yourself.

Tip: If this feels familiar, take a step back and ask yourself: Where is this desire to prove yourself coming from? Could people-pleasing be driving these burnout-inducing behaviours? There’s nothing wrong with ambition — at work or at home — but balance is key. Work hard, yes, but protect time to rest and recharge too.

Why this matters: If left unchecked, the need to prove yourself can set the tone for every stage that follows. Instead of building a sustainable routine, you push yourself harder and harder until exhaustion becomes your baseline. If I had recognising this stage early, I could have acknowledged the warning signs and made adjustments early.

Stage 2: Working harder - When overwork becomes a burnout risk

Once that initial drive to prove yourself has established, it often morphs into a simple (but dangerous) solution: just work harder. You convince yourself that more effort will fix everything — more hours, more projects, more saying “yes.” You start to feel invincible.

For me, this stage crept in quickly. I had already taken on extra responsibilities at work to prove my worth, but instead of asking for support or renegotiating priorities, I told myself I just needed to push through. I was replying to emails late at night, logging back in after bedtime stories, and spending weekends “catching up” or "preparing for the week ahead" instead of resting. On the outside, I looked like I had it all together. Inside, I was running on fumes.

For many working women, this stage shows up as a constant race against the clock. Maybe you’re the one who "sweeps up" when a colleague drops the ball. Maybe you re-do someone else’s work because it’s “faster than explaining.” Or maybe you pile more onto your plate because you don’t want to be seen as uncommitted or lazy — even when your calendar is already bursting.

Tip: If this sounds like you, pause and ask yourself: Am I being productive, or just running on a hamster wheel? Hard work is valuable, but it can’t come at the cost of your health. You may feel invincible but the truth is it will catch up with you. Instead of pushing through, play the long game, try asking: What can I delegate? What can I delay? What can I delete altogether?

Why this matters: Working harder isn’t the solution — it’s a trap. Without boundaries, “just one more task” snowballs into chronic overwork. Recognising this stage helps you see that real strength isn’t about doing everything yourself, its about balancing the scales and creating a sustainable pace you can actually maintain.

Stage 3: Neglecting your own needs - Subtle burnout symptoms to watch

This stage is sneaky because it often feels like you’re just being “efficient.” You start to cut corners — skipping lunch to get more done, cancelling that exercise class because there’s “no time,” or telling yourself you’ll catch up on sleep at the weekend. At first, it feels manageable. But before long, the small sacrifices add up, and your body (and mind) start to pay the price.

My day would start with coffee because I was too rushed for breakfast, then another coffee (and maybe a sugary pastry) mid-morning to keep me going. By the time I got home, I was too exhausted to cook properly, so I’d grab whatever was quick and easy, or just have a couple of mouthfuls of the kids dinner. Then I would often have a couple of glasses of wine to wind down.

Exercising became another “task” I didn’t have the energy for, so I'd either skip it and feel guilty or fit in a speedy run, raising my stress levels even more. Looking back, I can see how I was running on autopilot — but at the time, I thought I was just being practical.

For many working women, this looks like slowly disconnecting from the very things that keep us healthy and resilient. Maybe you’re dropping the gym sessions you used to love. Maybe dinner is whatever you can eat standing up at the kitchen counter. Maybe your weekends, once full of having fun and seeing friends, are now just recovery time to face another week, or even more work.

Tip: If this sounds familiar, remember — healthy habits like sleep, nourishing food, movement aren’t luxuries; they’re foundations. If you find yourself here, start small. Add one thing back into your week that makes you feel grounded and energised. Protecting your wellbeing isn’t selfish; it’s what allows you to thrive in every part of your life.

Why this matters: Once you start neglecting your needs, burnout accelerates quickly. Without food, rest, movement, and connection, you’re draining your reserves with no chance to refill them. Catching this stage means you can press pause, reset your priorities, and build resilience before you progress to the next stage.

Stage 4: Displacement of conflict - Stress management in the workplace

As stress builds, emotions like frustration, anger, and resentment bubble to the surface. But instead of recognising that you’re running on empty and you need to make a change, the blame shifts outward. It’s the colleague or your partner who isn’t pulling their weight. It’s the impossible deadline. It’s the client who keeps changing their mind.

For me, I became snappy and short-tempered, telling myself it was because of other people. “If they just did their job properly, I wouldn’t feel like this.” But in reality, the real conflict was inside me. I was exhausted, overcommitted, and unwilling to admit that I couldn’t keep going at the same pace.

For many working women, this might look like venting constantly about your boss, rolling your eyes at colleagues, or dreading meetings because everyone just feels irritating. The truth is, the more we externalise the problem, the further we get from actually fixing it.

Tip: If you find yourself constantly blaming others, pause and ask: What part of this is within my control? Often the answer is: your workload, your boundaries, or how much you’re expecting of yourself. If you are struggling with accountability, take one small step — whether that’s talking to your manager, setting clearer boundaries, or simply admitting to yourself that you’re stretched too thin.

Why this matters: Stage 4 is your chance to notice the pattern before it deepens. If left unchecked, misdirected frustration often leads to Stage 7: Withdrawal — where instead of snapping at people, you start to cut them out completely. Catching yourself here means you can stop the spiral and make changes early.

Stage 5: Revision of Values - Loosing purpose as burnout progresses

By the time you reach Stage 5, exhaustion can start to chip away at your sense of purpose. Cynicism creeps in, and what once felt meaningful now feels heavy or hollow. You may find yourself saying things like “What’s the point?” or “It doesn’t really matter anyway.”

I remember hitting this stage and realising I was going through the motions. I had moved up the career ladder, just as I had wanted, but things were getting worse note better. Contrary to what I expected, opportunities to feel valuable, creative and fulfilled actually decreased as I progressed. I told myself my job was “fine” and that it was just a temporary blip. But deep down, I could feel the gap between what I was doing every day and what I actually cared about. Instead of facing that discomfort, I tried to bend my values to fit the situation — convincing myself that providing financially for my family excused never having energy left for things I enjoyed.

For many working women, this might look like redefining success in ways that are unsustainable or untrue to yourself. Maybe you start telling yourself that being constantly available at work is just “what’s expected.” Maybe you put relationships or passions on the back burner and label them “luxuries” instead of essentials. Slowly, the misalignment grows, leaving you feeling more detached and resentful.

Tip: Spend time reconnecting with your true core values. Ask yourself: What matters most to me right now? Am I making decisions that align with that? Some people recommend journaling or coaching but I found simply allowing time to think was enough to help me reflect and spot where I was compromising too much. When your actions are in sync with your values, it feels easier to set boundaries and make healthier choices.

Why this matters: Stage 5 is a crossroads. If you ignore the misalignment, burnout can deepen into denial and withdrawal (Stages 6 and 7). But if you use this stage as a wake-up call, it’s a chance to realign your life with what really matters — before exhaustion takes over.

Stage 6: Denial - Why woman overlook the warning signs of burnout

Denial is a tricky stage because, on the surface, everything can look “fine.” You’re still showing up, still meeting deadlines, still functioning. But under the surface, the cracks are starting to show. Instead of admitting you’re struggling, you brush it off: “I’m just tired. It’s just a busy period. Everyone else is managing, so I should too.”

Reflecting on my experience, its difficult to comprehend how I continued in my situation for so long despite feeling so uncomfortable. I remember friends asking if I was okay. I’d laugh it off with a casual “Just the usual chaos, you know how it is!” Inside, I was exhausted, but the idea of admitting that — even to myself — felt like weakness. I convinced myself I could handle it if I just pushed a little harder. That denial kept me stuck much longer than I’d like to admit.

For many working women, we have been brought up to believe that success looks like "having it all". If we find ourselves struggling, this can feel like failure, so it feels easier to deny there is anything is wrong than admit defeat. This denial shows up as minimising or masking the problem. You keep saying yes to more work when your plate is already full. You dismiss your constant fatigue as “normal.” You might even start comparing yourself to others, telling yourself they’re coping better, so you should just “get on with it.”

Tip: Notice how you respond when someone asks, “How are you really?” Do you brush it off, change the subject, or put on a brave face? That’s often denial speaking. The first step to breaking through is honesty — with yourself, then with others. Sometimes just saying the words “I’m struggling” lifts a weight you didn’t even realise you were carrying.

Why this matters: Denial is dangerous because it delays action. You can't push through burnout so the longer you pretend things are fine, the further along the burnout path you slip. Admitting the truth isn’t weakness — it’s the first step towards taking back control of your wellbeing.

Stage 7: Withdrawal - Social signs of burnout and emotional fatigue

By Stage 7, the signs of burnout are harder to hide. Instead of just brushing things off, you may find yourself actively pulling away from people and activities that once brought you joy. Social events feel like effort. Conversations feel draining. Hobbies you once loved no longer appeal, or you stop making time for them altogether.

For me, this looked like cancelling plans with friends because “I was too tired” (when really, I just didn’t have the energy to engage). Even when I did show up, I often felt like I didn't have anything to say because all I could think about was my next work deadline. At home, I was present in body but not in mind — my kids would be chatting away, and I’d realise I hadn’t heard a word because my head was spinning with work stress. Slowly, my world got smaller. I thought I was protecting myself by withdrawing, but in reality, I was cutting off the very connections that could have helped me cope.

For many working women, this stage shows up as cancelling plans at the last minute. You know that feeling when its 5 pm and you decide its a better idea to finish something at work than meet your friends for a drink? or maybe you decide to spend a day watching netflix rather than turning up to your regular running group because you can't quite face it? On the surface, it can look like you’re just being practical, but in truth, maintaining social connections is an important part of burnout prevention and recovery.

Tip: If this is resonating with you start small — you don’t need to suddenly fill your diary with social events. Instead, choose one things and fight the urge to cancel. That might be a quick coffee with a friend, a walk with a colleague, or a family dinner. If it feels too much to catch up with friends, as a first step try connecting with people as part of a shared activity. This can feel less pressured and has the added benefit of enabling you to do something you enjoy.

Why this matters: Withdrawal is dangerous because when you pull away from your support system, you lose opportunities to recharge and gain perspective. Reconnecting with others is not another “task” — it’s a source of energy and feel good hormones. Left unchecked, this isolation can accelerate burnout into more serious stages of behavioural change and depersonalisation. But even tiny steps towards connection can start to rebuild resilience.

Stage 8: Obvious Behaviour Change - How burnout shows up in daily life

By this point, burnout isn’t just something you feel — it’s something others can see. The stress and exhaustion start to show up in how you behave, both at work and at home. Maybe you’re more irritable than usual, snapping at colleagues or loved ones. Maybe your patience is thinner, your focus scattered, or your motivation at an all-time low.

I remember noticing a change in my behaviour and even colleagues pointing out I seemed more stressed. I was normally calm and collected, but suddenly the smallest things set me off, my patience was at an all time low and I found everything irritating. At home, I was snapping at my partner and kids over silly things, then feeling guilty afterwards. I made excuses for myself, blaming others around me but my behaviours were shouting what I refused to admit to myself: I was struggling.

For many working women, this stage might look like reduced patience but could also include withdrawing in meetings, being overly critical, procrastinating, or making careless mistakes. At home you might be less present with family, lashing out at small irritations, or retreating into unhelpful coping strategies like binge-watching or drinking more than usual.

Tip: If people around you have started to notice changes in your behaviour, don’t dismiss it — use it as data. Instead of thinking, “How do they expect me to behave when I have so much on my plate?”, ask “What is my body and behaviour trying to tell me?” Burnout often speaks through actions before we’re willing to face it in words. Reflect on recent moments you didn’t feel like “yourself.” What triggered them? Where can you build in small pauses or reset moments during the day?

Why this matters: Stage 8 is a turning point. When your behaviour changes, it impacts not just you, but the people around you. Left unchecked, it can strain relationships at work and at home, creating more stress and guilt — which only deepens burnout. Recognising these shifts early is a chance to change course.

Stage 9: Depersonalisation - Emotional detachment and workplace burnout

By the time you reach Stage 9, the exhaustion and frustration that’s been building can harden into detachment. You may find yourself becoming cynical, cold, or even resentful toward others. Colleagues, clients, or even loved ones stop feeling like people and start to feel like problems to solve, demands to manage, or obstacles in your way.

During this stage, I’d be in meetings, nodding along, but internally I felt distant and irritated, thinking “Why can’t they just get on with it?” Invites from friends felt like an inconvenience or just demands on your already limited time. Even at home, I caught myself tuning out during conversations with family because I was too drained to care — I simply had nothing left to give.

For many working women, this stage shows up as snapping at colleagues when they need help, feeling impatient with your partner or kids, or secretly resenting friends who want your time. You're not a horrible person — it’s burnout narrowing your perspective and numbing your emotional reserves.

Tip: If you notice yourself becoming detached or less compassionate, that’s a red flag your tank is empty. Recharging your own energy is what allows you to reconnect with others so don't beat yourself up, just take steps to rest and take a break.

Why this matters: Stage 9 is particularly dangerous because relationships — at work and at home — are one of the strongest protective factors against burnout. When detachment grows, it isolates you further, making recovery harder. Rebuilding empathy and connection is not just about being a “nice person” — it’s about safeguarding your resilience and wellbeing.

Stage 10: Inner Emptiness - The hidden danger zone of burnout

At this stage, burnout goes beyond fatigue or frustration — it begins to feel like a hollowing out from the inside. You might describe it as emotional numbness, or a sense that nothing really matters anymore. The activities that once brought joy feel flat. Work feels meaningless, and even in your personal life, it can be hard to muster enthusiasm. Hopelessness or despair may creep in, leaving you feeling like you’re just going through the motions.

during this stage I remember feeling like I was floating above my life, observing myself acting out my day but feeling completely numb. Weekends, which used to be my time to recharge, have fun with family and enjoy hobbies and passions no longer felt restorative. I was still acting out my role, but I had lost the energy to feel fully present.

For many working women, this stage might look like a feeling of complete disconnect but may also involve giving up hobbies, avoiding social plans, or losing interest in career goals you once felt passionate about. It can even look like over-filling your calendar with distractions (shopping, scrolling, binge-watching), just to avoid sitting with the emptiness.

Tip: If you’re noticing this kind of numbness, treat it as a signal, not a personal failing. Joy doesn’t always come back instantly, but you can gently reintroduce small moments of meaning. Start with low-pressure activities you used to enjoy — a walk outside, a coffee with a trusted friend, anything which makes you present in the here and now.

Why this matters: Stage 10 is the “quiet danger zone.” When emptiness takes over, it erodes motivation and connection, making it easier to slip into depression (Stage 11). Recognising this stage early and taking small, deliberate steps to reconnect with meaning can prevent you from sliding further into burnout.

Stage 11: Depression - When burnout impacts mental health

By the time you reach this stage, burnout has taken a deeper emotional toll. The numbness of Stage 10 often shifts into something heavier — sadness, despair, and a sense of being stuck. You may find yourself questioning your worth, doubting your abilities, or feeling like you’ve failed. Even small tasks feel overwhelming, and the joy that used to fuel you feels out of reach.

When I reached this point, I remember waking up and dreading the day ahead — not because of one specific meeting or task, but because everything felt too much. It wasn’t just exhaustion anymore; it was a crushing sense that I couldn’t see a way forward. I felt completely hopeless. I kept telling myself I just needed to "get over it," but the more I tried to push through, the heavier it became.

For many working women, depression at this stage shows up as withdrawing emotionally, losing interest in both work and personal life, and carrying an undercurrent of guilt or shame. You may start to believe you’re letting people down, which only adds to the weight you’re already carrying.

Tip: If this feels familiar, please know this is not a reflection of weakness — it’s a sign your mind and body need support. This is often the point where professional help can make a huge difference, whether that’s speaking to your GP, a therapist, or a trusted mentor. Depression is not something you need to face alone. Reaching out is not just brave, it’s essential.

Why this matters: Depression marks the point where burnout is no longer just about work — it’s about your whole wellbeing. Left unaddressed, it can spiral further into a complete burnout collapse (Stage 12). But acknowledging it early opens the door to healing and recovery.

Stage 12: Burnout Syndrome - Complete burnout collapse and recovery needs

Stage 12 is the full burnout collapse. It’s the point where your mind and body simply say: “Enough.” You may feel completely unable to function, both professionally and personally. Even basic tasks like getting out of bed, cooking a meal, or answering an email can feel impossible.

For me, this was the stage that finally forced me to stop. My body shut down before my mind was willing to admit it. I kept telling myself I “just needed a break” — but in reality, I had ignored the warning signs for so long that my system had no choice but to hit reset. For me this manifested in a complete inability to stop crying. It didn't matter where I was or what I was doing, I just couldn't stop. I had no choice to accept that I needed to stop and take some time to rest and recover.

For many working women, reaching Stage 12 looks like extended sick leave, health breakdowns, or a complete withdrawal from work and relationships. It can feel terrifying, isolating, and overwhelming — but it’s also the stage that often sparks the most profound change, because it forces you to rebuild from the ground up.

Tip: If you are here, the only way is to stop, rest, and seek support. Recovery is not instant, and you don’t need to do it alone. This is the time to lean on professional guidance, your support network, and most importantly, self-compassion. Burnout is not a personal failure — it’s a human response to prolonged stress.

Why this matters: Stage 12 is the ultimate wake-up call. While it can feel like the end, it’s also the beginning of a different way of living — one with healthier boundaries, renewed values, and a stronger sense of what truly matters. Recovery is absolutely possible, but only when you honour the fact that rest and healing are not optional — they are essential.

Awareness and Action: How to prevent burnout and recover wellbeing

Take a moment to reflect: which of these stages do you recognise in yourself right now? Remember, awareness is power. Even if you notice yourself at Stage 3 or Stage 5, that knowledge gives you the chance to reset.

Understanding these stages empowers you to identify your experiences with burnout and take timely action. Experiencing all 12 of these stages is not inevitable and you can use this knowledge to stop burnout in its tracks. By creating an environment of balance, self-care, and support, you can work towards recovery and a more balanced life.

Find out more at www.balancingbluebells.co.uk.

Mairi Joyce

September 2025